The musky arena before you bristles with champions and fans, reporters and relatives. An excited hum of chatter floats about the place. In the center of the arena, a small ring stands ready and waiting for the evening’s entertainment. A loud click, and the arena’s lights dim, plunging the place into near darkness and sending the gathered crowds into rapture. Moments pass before a lone spotlight breaks through the smoky haze and illuminates the ring once again, revealing the colossal form of Gentleman Cho’Gath waiting in its center, microphone in claw.
LADIES AND DELECTABLES! You have come tonight to feast your eyes on the very finest prize fighters in the land! Pound for pound, no one comes close to matching the sheer power of these punchy pugilists, and now, coming to you live and via pay-per-chew, we bring you… the main event! LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLEEEEE!
- Refereeing tonight’s bout is a true champion of justice. With her sharpshooting eyes and a penchant for an entirely different kind of headshot, this yummy little morsel will certainly keep the low-blows away. From the scrumptious lands of Piltover… SHERIFF CAITLYN! 260 RP
- Innnn the red corner, weighing in at “Err.” and wearing blue shorts and gloves larger than his opponent, with an unbeaten record of 3-0-1, tonight, he’s challenging for the title! From the Zaun College of Techmaturgy, introducing the grab guru, the overdrive overlord, the prince of punch, the great steam golem… BOOM BOOM BLITZCRANK!! 487 RP
- In his corner is one of the greatest trainers the sport has ever known. With a hearty constitution that upsets even my mighty stomach, this chap is literally unkillable… at least for a few seconds. Give him a warm welcome before he sets out on his next raid… it’s VIKING TRYNDAMERE! 487 RP
- Innnnn the blue corner, with a record of 5-1-0 and weighing in at 8,140 lbs, she’s here tonight to defend her LoL Punkweight belt. Wearing what appear to be highly illegal gloves, she’s the Piltover piledriver, the first lady of force, the assault artiste, here comes… VI! 487 RP
- In Vi’s corner is a seasoned pro with plenty of bark to match his considerable bite. This Twisted Treant has promised to get his contender as many belts as he has rings. Please put your hands, paws and claws together for the one and only… MAOKAI! 440 RP
- Sadly, our last doctor had a slight run in with my mouth, but fight fans are a hardy people and make do when we must. So, with the switch of a hat, and with a slightly mangled stethoscope, tonight’s medical supervisor is… CAITLYN! 440 RP
Ladies and munchables, this bout will last from March 26 to March 29. Let’s face it – no one likes a draw, so if our two chaps are still fighting after three days I’ll have to step in and snack on an arm or two… for the benefit of the sport, of course. Now – FIGHT!
